Jealous

From secondary school to jc to army, i always put in my heart to help out people i love, help out people i think they deserve in my life. This is because i always though its a virtue to help people, and zhu ren wei kuai le zi ben. But i realise i always end up feeling unhappy about it, because....

I cant stand people better than me. I cant stand people doing better than me. I cant stand people being better than me. Despite all of these, i still help people as much as i could everytime.

But why doesnt i get all the good things, why is it me ending up being the one feeling like shit. WHY! WHY! WHY!