Roses

I thought i found my one
In the bed of roses.
Trying to give in my all,
but end up getting hurt by its thorns.

No point feeling blue,
Cause all roses look the same,
Its normal.

Result vs Process

I always believe that in everything we do, results is not what matters most. It is the process in getting the result that matters. It is the thing we gain in the process, what we have learned during the process, what we find out during the process of getting the result.

However, only minority of the people holds this same value as me. So many people deem the result as so important that they ususally neglect the process. They forget what they do during the process. Results matters so much to them, is either they get it or not. I have no choice but to accept it. This is how the world is working. I am just naive sometimes.

Why am i always the one thinking about how people feel. Sometimes is just so tiring, and always end up being the only one feeling like shit.

Diving at Tioman

I am now officially a openwater diver! haha!

Will never expect myself to learn diving but miracously i did. Went to tioman(malaysia) last sat to sun to take the openwater course with jackson, russell, james liu, jonathon, yanbo, lex, james yoon.

Took a bus all the way from peinusular plaza to some jetty in msia. The worst part is that the bus is not chao yuan and the ride is almost 5hrs! We tried entertaining ourself by singing acapella at the start but it was really a mess! Then russell and i decided to play psp when everyone is sleeping because they played some movie and its was too loud for us to sleep.

the going-to-be divers

When we reach the jetty, it was another round of waiting. This time for the ferry cause the tide was too low for the boat to came in.

Waiting for the ferry

When we reach Tioman, it was already around 5 am in the morning. Me, russell, james and jonathon got into one room. We were all very tired but we couldnt sleep. Due to our stupidity by telling ghost story and end up everyone getting damm horrified. At the end of the first two dives, russell got a very serious shoudler ache, and he say he thought of shutter! haha!

We met at 9 for breakfast then went for sizing for our equiments. Our first lesson was at the pool, learning all the basics. After that, we had our lunch and went straight into the sea for our first dive. The first dive is of course very scary. I was trying my best to keep myself as calm as possible.

Before we got onto the boat

On the Boat

While getting to our diving site, we get our equipments prepared. After that, we started singing again. I felt comfortable for the subsequent 3 dives, just like a fish in the water! haha. We saw lots of fish, sea urchins, fish and more of it! haha. We also saw a giant turtle. Grace say we are damm lucky to see it!

The 4 dives went pass quite smoothly and quickly, overall the whole trip was a lot of fun. Before we left the island, we tried the iceball that can never be found in singapore. Again, we took lots of photos!

THE DIVERS

Me and grace, the diving instructor. She was very patient with us and very very nice! She decided to call me didi throughtout the lessons cause firstly she couldnt remember my chinese name and also i am the yougnest among them all!

Hanquan

Sensitive

Sensitive - a word we usualy relate to girls.
But as time goes by, more and more guys also start to have this characteristic in them.

I am not saying its bad to be sensitive. It is good about someone being sensitive. They are able to think for people more. They care about what other thinks. These kind of people usually have higher EQ. They are usually people who have many friends cause people feel comfortable beside them.

However when it gets overboard sometimes, it can turn really bad. They starts to become paraniod and usually never get anything done because they think for everyone before planning things. Sometimes they also misinterpret people meaning even thought they really dont mean it that way. They think too deeply even thought a lot of things is just so simple and at the surface.

No matter what, they can never be worst then insensitive people. I just dont understand why some people can be so insensitive. They just think that the whole world belongs to them. They only think about themselves. When they not in good mood, then its like the whole world did something wrong to him. They just think their own issue should be settle first before others. Or rather, they are damm selfish. They just express their feeling right out on their face!

I am someone who is sensitive about my surroundings. I know what others feel even before they say out anything(sometimes). I try not to think a lot. But i just cant understand why people can take me for granted. Why must i always be the one who starts things, why must i always be the one doing things for others, why must i always be the one giving in. Maybe i am just too nice sometimes. Some may just say, "dont care la". But have you ever really consider what will happened if i really dont care?

Awake

Why is the world so cruel to me?
So unbearable. So disturbing.
Makes me feels so near yet so far.
Far from what i expected at least.

I need someone to hold the sky for me.
Pull me away and face the reality.

Hanquan

Surface

I am now stuck in the middle,

scared to take another step.

I think i should just wait,

until the time is ripe.

Until everything surface.

Crush

Do you ever think, when you're all alone.
All that we could be, where this thing could go.
Am I crazy or falling in love
Is it real or just another crush

Do you catch a breath, when I look at you
Are you holding back, like the way I do
Cause I'm trying, trying to walk away
But I know this crush ain't goin away

David Archuleta new song 'Crush'
It totally describe what i am feeling right now!!